Loving Compassion Practice

Introduction to Loving Compassion Practice

This loving compassion practice draws on the idea that we have multiple aspects of ourselves with different characteristics, thoughts, feelings and beliefs, stored in our memories. The fact that we can experience internal debates and conflicts over issues, especially when we need to make a decision, suggests that we can literally be ‘in two minds’ over something. To put it simply, we can and do speak to ourselves. The younger versions of ourselves, which may be focused on seeking security, greater control over our environment, safe connections, care, comfort and reassurance are present and can surface, especially when we’re tired, unwell, stressed with responsibilities and challenges or struggling to interact comfortably with someone. Along with the more vulnerable parts of ourselves, we have mature and developed aspects, which bring greater life experience and knowledge, a broader perspective and a capable and caring guiding voice to our thoughts and actions. We can call on this ‘guiding self’ to care for and nurture our more ‘vulnerable self’ in ways which make us feel safer and calmer. One way in which we can do this is to counteract the tendency of the nervous system to head towards a fight or flight response under pressure, by offering ourselves the steadying presence of a warm, caring and compassionate voice which nurtures us through difficulties. This is especially helpful when the habitual response to our vulnerable moments is to activate the ‘inner critic’, producing a stream of negative thoughts and beliefs which are directed towards ourselves. This reaction increases the feeling that we’re under threat and undermines our capacity to take steps to meet our fundamental emotional self-care needs. Some of us were raised to see self-love as ‘selfish’ or ‘self-absorbed’, but offering ourselves care and kindness acknowledges the fundamental respect of our place as a living being within the universe. We are all worthy of our own care, warmth and affection and deserve to treat ourselves with the same consideration that we offer others.The foundation of self-care is to look after our physical needs, from which point we can progress to nurturing our emotional well-being and a deeper self-knowledge. Love is the fuel which allows us to bring our best self to each day’s challenges and raises self-esteem over time. We cannot count on others providing that love moment by moment, but need to be able to rely on ourselves to offer that loving kindness in a way which reflects our true value.

Find a calm, quiet place where you feel safe to begin the mindful loving compassion practice.